I Would Love To Be Called Beautiful Like Lizzo.
(I’m aware of Lizzo’s latest controversies, this blog aims to only talk about her body and its impact on beauty standards. Not defend her against her alleged crimes.)
Pop culture icons like Lizzo were born from controversy. Because you are allowed to either be black OR fat. Never both. You can either be Adele or Rihanna. Yet Lizzo was both black and fat AND unhinged about it. Of course, haters weren’t having it. She has been the face of the challenge that she, just being herself, has posed to the beauty standards. Her body and her unapologetic acceptance of it, flexing it like fat is the new skinny, pissed the patriarchy way too much. Because now women would stop caring and “let themselves go” and no longer be trapped in a man’s fantasy. Women would no longer place their entire self-worth on their physical attributes and that turned men off enough for them to make podcasts and cry about it with their homies.
So Lizzo’s pop existence has been a political statement since day 1. She became a hot topic of discussion in the manosphere where men, to the likes of Andrew Tate, kept pushing the statement that women’s beauty is an unusually important part of her existence and she needs to be skinny (only in the “right” places) to be able to get a man’s validation, without which she’s obviously, valueless. But it didn’t really work. Big women like Lizzo kept being called beautiful and bold for embracing themselves and their size. Feminists all over the world knew how important it was to establish that a woman’s beauty cannot be bound by strict definitions. It is subjective and women were determined to redefine it through pop culture.
So threatened men and incels came up with what they believe is the ultimate Uno reverse card. They collectively decided to tell any woman who called Lizzo beautiful, that they looked like Lizzo. They were convinced that women were “lying” when they called Lizzo beautiful. These women wouldn’t wanna look like her because deep down they know Lizzo is not beautiful. They were confident in the fatphobia that all women had been internalizing since they were little girls. They knew if they insinuated that some woman was Lizzo-beautiful, she’s not beautiful, thus they would succeed in calling out their true feelings about Lizzo’s looks. And a lot of women fell for it. I saw a few interviews where these men went around asking women if they thought Lizzo was beautiful and if they said yes, they would follow it up with “you look like Lizzo”. Women were supposed to lose their shit and prove their point that Lizzo is, in fact, ugly and no one wants to be her. They’re saying it for the mere purpose of challenging the beauty norms.
But I disagree. I think Lizzo is indeed beautiful. And not just her confidence. Her face and body. And if you call me Lizzo-beautiful, I will feel flattered. Let me elaborate. To me, Lizzo has a pretty face, and even with her big body that I’m supposed to dislike, I see myself in it. Body rolls, just slightly bigger than mine. Cellulite, stretch marks, hip dips, like I have. Self-love, just quite more than me. Her body is closer to mine than most other female stars. And her persona suits the songs she writes. Her face is what you would imagine a fun-loving, bubbly woman with the kind of discography she has, to have. I see more of me in her than I see in women like Kylie Jenner and Kim Kardashian. Because I cannot afford plastic surgery, I can hardly ever look like them so if anyone were to call me pretty like them, I’d be more concerned lol. Even though I’m too health conscious to purposely grow as big as Lizzo, if I ever do, yes I want to look as pretty and badass as she looks in her big body and unapologetic confidence. Like it or not beauty is subjective. The male gaze might want to dictate how I view beauty in women, but beauty still lies in the eyes of the beholder.
I also have my reasons to believe that the women who took offence to being compared to Lizzo wouldn’t be offended if it came from another woman or as an unassuming compliment. The intention with which the phrase “you look like Lizzo” is being said changes its meaning. It also tells us more about the person saying it than the person it is being said to. That and also because some of these women were white and visibly skinny and genuinely looked nothing like Lizzo. The fact that you look like Lizzo can be expected to be taken as an insult shows how obsessed society is with policing women’s bodies. A natural woman with fat is more criticized than all the women who are ready to permanently change their body because “at least she’s pretty after doing it.” Could we get any more superficial?
When their smug stunt fails to trick women into admitting Lizzo is ugly, the manosphere pulls out the ‘but she’s obese and that’s very unhealthy’ card as their last attempt to flatter their inflated egos at the cost of someone’s emotions and body, for the sake of being “correct”. And I agree. Being morbidly obese isn’t the body goal anyone, man or woman, should be setting for themselves. Weighing that much is so much more than beauty and looks. It poses health risks that could make life complicated and medication expensive. But if this was ever about health, then being skinny at the cost of a woman’s physical and mental health would have also never been promoted. But that has been well glamorized because women are allowed to risk their health so long as it serves men. Men are worth taking the health risk for because that’s the point of a woman’s life anyway. To serve men and their needs. Because a woman’s purpose is to get married and serve her husband. If men gave one flying shit about women’s health, we wouldn’t have needed feminism to bring forth the horrible downsides of trying to achieve the perfect skinny body. The unnatural “36–26–36” body proportions would’ve been called out by men themselves. It wouldn’t have gotten to the point of cosmetic surgery going mainstream. Millions of things that women are expected to look like come at the price of their health on various levels. And no one bats an eye about it. But as soon as a fat, black woman gets the bag, without the eating disorders, without the BBLs, without paying the price that the patriarchy has made all successful female celebrities pay, the manosphere starts wailing and throwing hands. Their favourite toy has now started talking. That too in the language of their worst nightmares.
We’re way too used to a singular image of fat women popularized by the media. If as a woman you’re fat, you should be ashamed, not unabashed. You should be depressed, not celebrating. You should have an eating disorder, not self-acceptance. You should be self-conscious, not self-loving. And if you’re black or of colour and fat as a woman, you dare not dream to be successful, dare not take your space, dare not believe in your worth. Lizzo came around and changed all of that for women like her. She sang, rapped, twerked, modelled and celebrated in all her blackness and size. She gave us lyrics to shut misogynists up. She capitalized on the one thing that was supposed to hold women back. And that impact stays unwavering in the fate of toxic beauty standards for women forever.
